The Soul's Speed Limit

At church yesterday, one of our pastors (Pete) started a series called 'Weary World Rejoices.' The title of the series is from the lyrics of the Christmas carol 'O Holy Night.' Ya know, I've sung that song a hundred times and I've never really heard that phrase in its lyrics before. The sermon yesterday talked about how God is for us and He is still active today. Pete referenced Isaiah 40:1 ('comfort, comfort my people'). In reference to weariness, he said he firmly believes that we're killing ourselves due to the speed at which we live our lives. He mentioned our souls having a speed limit. A speed limit for our souls. That makes me pause. He talked about being squeezed -- especially at this time of year. We try to squeeze everything in and then we clap our hands together in prayer, cry out to God for help, wait...3 minutes...and when He doesn't answer in time, we're off and running again.

I'm guilty of this.

I started reflecting on my mindset of late. My request that God would stretch me/us. It made me start asking myself if it's possibly for a person/family to be stretched without being squeezed. Can JD and I parent six children without squeezing our family into an unintentional vice grip? Some would unequivocally say no, we can't.

I don't know if others of you notice this pattern in your own life, but it seems every time I travel, my resolve is challenged somewhat. Considering that we traveled to Tennessee for Thanksgiving, I left the safe, cocoon of my life's routines, patterns and ways. I didn't have my daily time curled up in the corner of my couch to sit with God and wrestle things out. Not everyone believes or embraces the thought of an enemy out there wanting to devour every bit of joy in our lives, so I respect if this statement doesn't resonate with some. But I firmly believe this. I bring this up to say that every time I get away from home, I find myself a little wimpy in my convictions. Sometimes I'm with others who challenge my beliefs. In many ways, this is a good thing. Sometimes it's simply because I'm away from my typical routine. I don't want to live in a bubble. But I also don't want to return from a trip without my resolve intact.

There were times this past week when I wondered if adoption was the right path for us. This, I'm sure, was due partly to the fact that I didn't get with God for the encouragement and clarity that I so need, but it was also due to the fact that our Jackson has turned on the heat. In the last two weeks, that child has become a fit-throwing, tantrum-ridden boy. I was sure we were passed this stage. I was sure when we went through it with Brooks a year ago that Jackson wasn't going to go through it. Why at the age of four instead of two or three? Who knows. Nonetheless, JD and I have had our patience tested in the last two weeks like we haven't had it tested in nine months or more. Jackson will learn, as Brooks did, that disrespecting us, talking back to us and generally not doing as he's told, will not be tolerated.

But I bring up how the enemy likes to sap our joy because he jumped on the chance to fill my head with doubt and deception about how we'll handle children with behavioral stuff like Jackson's going through with five other children to tend to. He tried to fill my head with thoughts of inadequacy. He tried to convince me that we're not equipped. He tried to make me doubt that this is God's design for our family. Well, this is God's design for our family.

Period.

Pete's sermon yesterday reminded me that God is for us. And God is active. That means that when I cozy up to Him in the mornings and pray for Jackson to have an obedient heart and for me to have the patience to deal with him with grace, that I know He hears me and He's for me. I know He wants me to parent with Him at my side. I know He will arm me with encouragement so I can battle back against the enemy's lies.

There are two children out there that are meant to be part of this family, dog-gone-it! And I will not let an enemy steal the joy we will have with them as part of our family and mostly steal the joy, peace and love they will have when they can lay their heads on their pillows at night and sleep peacefully knowing that the reason they're part of our family is because God is for them!

[Our social worker will be coming to our home Thursday at 3:00 for part 2 of our home study. I'll let you know how it goes].