laying it out there

I have a confession to make.

Just laying it out there.

I'm getting nervous.

Time's a tickin' and I know James will be home with us before we know it. September will bring the start of school and, I don't know about you, but the fall is always a busy time for us. We have birthdays to celebrate, annual traditions in the way of fall activities that we love and count down the days to, and all that the holidays bring. It's a joyful time. Very possibly my favorite time of year. But it always goes fast. There's a swift clip that develops that always causes the fall months to whiz by and before we know it, it's Christmas. And, this year, we won't just be anticipating Christmas, but sweet baby James.

We know some folks who have recently brought their children home or who are in the process of bringing a child home and it's emotional. There are lots and lots and lots of changes. I'm up for the changes that James' addition will bring to our family because I know that with the challenges will be enormous blessings and holy moments. But if I'm completely honest, I'm nervous about what's in store with his special needs. I'm not some kind of super-mom who doesn't fear. I fear for him. I fear for us. What he will and won't be able to do. What we'll face due to others' comments -- well-meaning or not. What our children will face by having James as their brother. In some ways, I'm ready! I feel like we've been applying our armor for months, but in some ways I'm just nervous.

Will he be able to use his left hand at all? Is it functional? Or will we have to quickly take the road of teaching him to do things with his feet?

I know with the utmost certainty that God will be with us during the process of getting to know James and learning about his abilities. But there are huge unknowns ahead.

That makes the comfort of having the Lord at our side greater than I can possibly convey.

I don't know how we'd do this without Him. We couldn't. Plain and simple.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:6