a minute to whine

Now I really am whining.

And feeling a bit sorry for myself.  And our other kids who ask a couple times a week when James will be joining us.  And how 'bout poor little James?!  Good gracious we want that child outa there!

Talked to one of our social workers yesterday.

It doesn't look good.

When their words start with, 'It's with disappointment that I tell you...', I brace myself.

It's not that we're never going to get James -- and I know of adoptions that have fallen completely apart, so I know this could be much more grim, but still.  The waiting's hard.

Our dossier's 'stuck in translation.'  This means that it hasn't even started to be reviewed.  (It was supposed to be done with the review process by now -- we should've received our preliminary approval by now).  This means the timeframe we were given is out the window.

When I asked why this happened, she said they don't know.  

Let's get straight to the point, right?

When?


Best case scenario: January.

Worst case scenario: the Spring.

I can barely go there in my mind.  It just seems completely crazy and impossible to think that we could have to wait through the entire Winter?  Seriously?  Like, it could be warm again and there could be leaves back on the trees when we bring him home?

I could ramble and ramble on about my thoughts lately around this process, the teaching and refining that's happening in me through this experience, the test of patience for me that is so, so, so good for me...and so on.  Just suffice it to say that I wanted to travel to get our boy sooner rather than later.

But.  


With all my heart, I know that God's got His hand on every minuscule, minute, particle of this holy process.  And for that matter, on James.  And on us.  In all my whining, I really do trust Him.  In fact, almost immediately after I hung up with our social worker I thought to myself: Perhaps it would be best for us to travel in January or February and not smack dab in the middle of the holidays?  Sure, I wanted James to be with us for Christmas and I wanted to start 2012 with him as part of our family and in our home, but it's okay.  October, November and December is always a very busy and full season for us (and every other family we know!), so maybe traveling during the doldrums of January and February is really God's better plan for us?


Ya think? 


I also received this week, an encouraging reminder from a mom whose traveled this road before me.  She said, 'I'm sure your heart aches daily for him.  Oh, I remember well the waiting.  It is amazing how the time is used well to build bonds of love and longing, though.'

Oh, how I needed to hear that.  It is so true.

So, I needed to lay my eyes on his sweet little self.  So I went back and looked at some photos and found a few I don't think I've shared here yet.  Enjoy.

Oh, and a little birdie told me he's 'a rocket' in that little walker!  Scooting himself all over the orphanage.  So sweet!