Friday, February 17, 2012

sunday, march 4, 2012

The day we thought would never come.

In the world of adoption, this is sweetly known as 'Gotcha Day.'

We will meet, hold, hug, embrace, and see our son for the first time.

Payton said this morning, 'I wonder what you'll do, Mama, when you first see James.'

I quickly retorted, 'You do?'

She quickly retorted, 'Oh yeah.  You'll cry.  You always cry.'  You gotta love ten-year-old girls.  Sayin' it like it is!  :)

I've become a full-on-full-fledged-in-public-in-front-of-an-audience-anywhere-anyhow-cryer.  Oh well. Staying composed is over-rated.  This process has made me raw.

I have so much that's stirring in me as I anticipate leaving to get James.  I so want to lay it all out here on this blog so you all can experience this with us as intimately as possible, but I have this voice that says 'It's a blog.  Why would you share all that there?'  Yet, I have so appreciated others who have.  They don't even know it but when they share their humanness on their blog it helps me remember that I'm not a complete freak.  What's whirling inside just seems to be too much too even encapsulate -- into words.  I can barely make sense of it in my mind and heart.  And it's good stuff.  But it's not always good stuff.

JD and I have had some fun conversations lately about James.

He's going to grow to be a man one day?

One day he'll be so comfortable in our family that he may be rambunctious like his brothers?

He's going to be with us from this day forward.  

Like a wedding vow.  On Sunday, March 4th, we will take a vow and commit to him for life like we committed to each other almost 13 years ago!

Of course, we've known all these things.  But you get so caught up in the production of what the adoption process is that you table these realities until, well, now...til you're getting ready to board the plane and start life with this person!

I cannot wait!  

I wish I could express in words how ridiculously excited JD and are.  Like school children.  How could I ever have adventured through life with anyone else at my side?  This man is it for me!  I'm amazed every day at how in sync we are when it comes to the big stuff of life.  I'm not worthy.

I'm seriously, seriously not.

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