james: {part 2}

So, here they are.

The earliest photos of our sweet boy.

These were contained in the medical file we received that night in April 2011 when the four kids and I were piled up on the couch and we got word that we could pursue James if we wished.

Laying our eyes on him for the first time, beyond his Rainbow Kids posting, was overwhelming.  

Not sure, but you may want to brace yourself.

I was struck when I first saw these so many months ago.

I was frozen.

Seeing how young he was when he was given up.  Just a helpless, teeny-tiny baby.  Completely dependent on others.

He would've undoubtedly died had he not been found.

The hospital photo

This first photo takes me to thoughts of his birth mom -- and other events of late have led me to her.  We have friends who adopted a son from Romania and a series of events has led his birth family to locate him here in the States and he will be meeting them any day.  I just can't imagine such a meeting.  I would welcome it, but be oh-so-very-nervous!  And, honestly, until all this with the Dennehys, I hadn't thought it was much of a possibility, but thanks to the internet and worldwide media, the Earth has never been so small.

His sweet little body.  In all it's glory.

God has done such an amazing thing in me.  In us.  

We are blind.  

We have to work so very hard to see James' missing limbs.  It's like we have new eyes.  He is just so much our James now that there's been a shift.    

But.

It wasn't always this way.

Part of my struggle in China around the enormity of adoption in general was certainly seeing James in the flesh (literally).  I just could not stop seeing his missing limbs.  

It was all I saw those first many days with him.

I was gripped with fear.    

But I also trusted.  

I trusted that God had brought us to James and that He would do a work in me.  He would work out the fear and trembling in me.  So thankful to God for how He sends His Spirit to do the tough work when necessary.

Oh how He's used James to grow our trust in Him.  

It's a beautiful thing.

And he is a beautiful boy.