the internal stuff: the power of adoption

Having James in our family is a constant reminder to me of the power of adoption.  Both earthly adoption (like us adopting James) and spiritual adoption (like God adopting us into His family/kingdom through Jesus).  It's just crazy to me how redemptive both these forms of adoption are.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
Ephesians 1:4-6

We may not realize it, but we see spiritual adoption all the time.

People's lives literally turned around because they came to know Christ and received His power of healing, love and grace.  That deep, knowing that you're accepted exactly as you are.  That was (and still is) huge to me.  When the day came that I got it -- when I realized that I am loved, truly loved regardless of the mistakes I've made -- the freedom and peace I felt was so comforting.  I hadn't experienced that kind of acceptance before.

That's my hope for James.

That through his adoption into our family he will get it.  That he will feel accepted exactly as he is.  That somehow God will use us, equip us, and empower us to show him the love of Christ.  That he will feel that freedom and peace one day.  If he isn't feeling it already.

This is my prayer for all our kids: acceptance and knowing.

My gosh, you guys, I screw up on a daily basis.  Read: a daily basis.  Those closest to me know this.  I lose my patience, I shout, I scold, I...dare I say it...even belittle at times.  I'm ashamed to admit it.  I am such a failure in so many ways.  But my constant prayer is that God's grace would be sufficient for my shortcomings.  I have many.

And Paul says so in the Bible so I'm going to choose to believe it.  And I regularly ask this of the Lord on my children's behalf.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  
2 Corinthians 12:9  


Bringing James into our family has brought forward a lot of my humanness -- my issues (laziness, selfishness), my hang-ups (what others think), my uncertainties (my mothering), my doubts (my abilities).  I'll never forget what was going on in me internally those first few days after we got James in China.  It was a wave of enormity -- fear, doubt, concern, unknowing.

It's like night and day.

It's like I was over-thinking things so much at the beginning that I wasn't experiencing a lot of the joy that I'm so glad to be experiencing now.  We're just living it.  It helps tremendously to be living it at home.

I know there will be bumps -- we all have them -- whether our children are biological or adoptive.  But, my gosh, I feel grateful to be the mom of these kids.  I just know this is where the rubber meets the road.  It's right now.  It's in the grit of life.  The digging down deep.  The funny thing that I chuckle at sometimes, is God has given me the desires of my heart.  I yearned for this.  I asked for this.  I desired to be stretched and to be more dependent on Him.  Well, here I am!  And He is faithful.  He has answered every prayer.  I can look back over this process to all the twists and turns along the way and see His hand on it all.  That's an amazing thing.

There's much ahead for us.  A summer full of consultations with doctors, many appointments and then probably procedures.  Of course, there's the fun that must be had too!  So we'll navigate through and learn as we go.  We'll continue to flex as we gel into a family of seven.  I, in no way, feel like we've arrived.

One day at a time.

Er, one poopy diaper at a time.  Are we really changing diapers again?